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I had a lot of friends and just really enjoyed having fun in class more then listening. I hated the fact that I had to take a pill that would alter my behavior and personality. I felt stigmatized at first, and broke down when my parents took my to a psychiatrist to get the diagnosis along with the pills.
Anyways, the nurse at my school was relentless to give me the medication every day. At first, I would do anything to avoid her. She ended up coming to my class everyday and pulled me out mid-class to give me the medication. I eventually gave in and took the pills every day.
I will admit, I was one of the more disorganized kids in class, but I also had the best test scores but struggled with homework.
Before taking adderall, my desk was a nightmare. After, I had the cleanest desk in the class by far, and I went from the quietest kid to the most relaxed and calm. I looked at it as a good thing at the time, because school is always competitive and it made me feel good that I thought of myself as one of the better students.
A month into taking adderall on a regular basis though, I started doing really odd things. I would have certain tics that I would have to do like blink my eyes a certain amount of times or touch things in a certain way.
My friends would always mock me, but I had the chemical confidence of adderall to shrug it off and just make fun of them back like a normal kid.
This was really difficult though, because the tics that I was having on adderall were really weird. I think my friends were just thinking I was trying to be funny. What made me feel better about myself was the fact that my other friend was on adderall too. He developed tourrets from it and the tics that he had put mine to shame.
After about 3 months of taking the medication, little things started to annoy me like no other. When people cleared their throat, it filled me with an uncontrollable rage that I have never felt before. I wanted to hurt anyone who cleared his or her throat. It seemed so obnoxious to me for some reason when people did this.
When someone would do it though, I had to close my eyes and not let the rage consume me. I remember this one teacher that used to sit in class to write notes for special Ed kids and always cleared his throat, at least 20 times in a minute class period. I got so fed it up with it that I had to clear my throat to mock him every time he did it.
It was the only way I could get the rage out of me. The teacher eventually confronted me and told me to stop it, he thought I was making fun of him and he was right. Another thing that annoyed the hell out of me was when people chewed with their mouth open, the intense rage would fill my body.
Not only did adderall give my OCD like symptoms as a child, it also completely altered my sensations and moods. I had to stop. Although adderall gave me symptoms of intense anger over trivial things, it also gave me a sense of well-being.
I was able to make a lot of friends, but when I went to high school completely sober, I never felt like talking to anyone. I felt like a zombie. I started playing a video game everyday for hours to escape from my jaded reality. I never bottomed out though, I was always able to stay in touch with friends, but I could feel myself becoming more distant from them and everything in general.
I did however hit rock bottom at college. I was off adderall for 4 years and was still feeling like shit. I would either feel extremely good or like complete garbage. I ended up smoking pot all day and not going to classes.
I had no choice but to withdrawal from 2 of my classes so I had more time to think about what was wrong with me. I was having panic attacks in class, which freaked me out. I was an outgoing social kid on adderall, but when I got off it, I was completely flat.
I felt like I was going crazy. When I was lying next to her, I would notice that I had no feeling what so ever.I think too much homework can be overbearing, but homework is a way of reinforcing what you learned. At least it was for me. Now pre college is easier than college but when I first went to college and the freedom it gave me I didn't do the assigned readings or homework and would study the night before.
lausannecongress2018.com >>>CLICK HEREreading writing arithmetic too much homework makes me sick meme bonzi wells full report tax. The fact that people have made so much money off this drug because they brainwashed parents like mine to believe that there was an actually a problem makes me sick.
I try to put this all behind me, but I can't stop thinking about the friendships and experiences that I lost because of my legal drug problem.
I am chemically alive and am desperately . Issuu is a digital publishing platform that makes it simple to publish magazines, catalogs, newspapers, books, and more online. Easily share your publications and get them in front of Issuu’s.
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